Envy

A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones. Proverbs 14:30

As I was flying back to my hometown for Christmas, I started to take stock of my life. But I found myself thinking of a friend, to whom blessing after blessing has been bestowed, while my life seems blessing-less. I wonder what made her so worthy of having a successful business, children who were succeeding, a home, money, clothes, and more attention from men that she could give each of her friends a man and have men left over! I became more and more agitated until I convinced myself that maybe I need to distance myself from her. I began to feel as if I were nothing.

But wait, wasn't this the friend who stood with me when I married, stood by me when my first husband was on the run from the police, called me every single day my daughter was in drug rehab? Wasn't this the friend "who stuck closer than a brother?" It was the enemy, trying to distract me, distance me from a woman is who so dear to me and such a good friend. I thought, I need to rejoice that the Lord has been so good to one of my best friends. Take that, (a slap) devil.

I had another conversation with one of my closest childhood friends, who said, in a discussion about weight, "when we were younger, I always used to compare myself to you." I was stunned, because she had beautiful clothes, a boyfriend, a car, all the things I never had in high school. And here she was, envious of me, because I was thin. But I was also short and she was 5'5". She has endured many health trials and has never failed to be upbeat and positive; she has such a loving spirit. She has such a faith-filled walk that I admire, I strive to be more like her, more joyful in the midst of trials, more trusting in God and more holding onto the Father's hand.

The enemy uses stealth, whisperings and murmerings, deception and doubt to steal a believer's joy. He seeks to separate us from other believers with thoughts of the things of this world. He whispers in my ear, "Look at what she's got, why doesn't God give that to you?" All the time I know the devil is a liar. I had to remember, that I am God's creation and that makes me good enough. I have all that I need, does not our Father promise this?